For most of us, it’s already a cheer new season. This time of year always brings fresh starts, new friends, new goals, and new teams. But a new score sheet, age grids, and shakeups in team alignment can cause many athletes to deal with disappointment during this time.
I quote I love says, “Be brave enough to suck at something new.”
A fellow cheer mom sent me a DM and said, “What if you have to be brave enough to do it all again? Mine was placed on the same level while all her teammates leveled up. She does not want to cheer anymore because of this. She is just embarrassed, disappointed, and heartbroken.”
I don’t know this person, but my heart cracked a little for her and her athlete. When you put so much of yourself into this sport, that’s really tough stuff.
Disappointment can be a motivator to work harder and be more resilient, but it also has the power to crush a soul. This post is meant to encourage your athlete (and you!) on ways to deal with disappointment in a positive way.
MAKE THE BEST OF IT
Sit down with your athlete and make a list of all the reasons why this team placement could be a positive experience for him or her. Do they have a friend on the team? Is their favorite coach the team coach? Will they get the position of last tumbling pass or center jumper because their skills are stronger on this team?
“ZOOM OUT”
No, I don’t mean you should get on a virtual meeting with your coaches. If I never get on a Zoom call again it will be too soon.
Sometimes it’s so easy to get stuck in disappointment because you’re too close to the situation. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come. That’s why perspective and “zooming out” to look at the bigger picture is important.
Remind your athlete of when they first started cheer. When they were on a Mini Level 1, did they admire the athletes on the Level 2 team? When they were on a Youth 2, were they desperate to get their Round Off Tuck for that Junior 3? Point out how far they’ve come!
HAVE A CONVERSATION
I think the worst thing you can do in a situation where you or your athlete are disappointed is to sit and stew about all the reasons you think your athlete didn’t make the team they (or you) thought they should have. Ask to set up a meeting with your child, their coach, and you.
When you speak with the coach or director, instead of saying “why did you put her on this team?” Try to ask things like, “Sally had been hoping to make the Level x team. Can you tell us where she needs to improve to meet that goal?” or say, “Are you able to shed some light on the strategy behind Sally’s team placement?” For extra credit, let your athlete ask the questions and do the talking!
You may be pleasantly surprised by the answers, and this is a great life skill your athlete can learn for when they’re out in the real world.
BUILD A BRIDGE
There was one season when all of my daughter’s best cheer friends had been placed on a Level 4 team while she was on a Level 3. To make a long story short, she expressed her availability and willingness to help out on the Level 4 team if there was ever a need, she kept working on her skills in private lessons every week, and before competition season had even officially started, she was on that Level 4 team as a crossover.
No season finishes the way that it started. Keep working, keep having those conversations, and make yourself available. You never know what can happen.
REGROUP AND REASSESS
Sometimes there isn’t always a positive solution for every disappointment. I encourage you to think about every option above and if the right answers don’t come up, it may be time to sit down as a family – with your athlete included – and talk about whether or not it’s time for some changes; like a new gym or a new sport. However, make sure you’ve done this BEFORE the season officially starts or commitments are made.
Competitive Cheer is truly a rollercoaster, and as a parent it can be hard to watch your kid face the lows and disappointment that come with it. Hopefully one of these tips will help you navigate the ride together.
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